


Frustration

by crgb1234



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22340755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crgb1234/pseuds/crgb1234
Summary: It's so frustrating... Even with his goggles on Chanyeol has a hard time seeing anything but white. The snow drifts and flurries all around him made it easy to explain the difficulty Chanyeol was having.  But the truth was that it wasn't only the snow that was making it hard for him... where he could only see white.The tears welling up were the main cause of his blindness.And he knew it would only get worse if he didn't do something -- soon.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this on AFF for a while now, but I wanted to bring it to here where my AO3 readers could enjoy it as well.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated, but kindness even more so. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

The snow drifts and flurries all around him made it easy to explain the difficulty Chanyeol was having. But the truth was that it wasn't only the snow causing him to see white... The tears welling up were the main cause of his blindness. 

And he knew it would only get worse if he didn't do something -- soon.

It had been one week. Only a week. One... full... week. Seven days of existing.

Chanyeol sighed.

He was tired. Being old sucked. Well, 33 wasn't exactly old, but it sure seemed like it when he thought back to everything that had happened in his life leading up to this day.

His birthday. Well it would be if he was at home in Korea, but that wasn't where he was right now.

Right now he was as far away as he could possibly be. On a skiing trip in the mountains of Verbier, Switzerland. With friends "for old times sake." Even though they were surrounded by picturesque settings of chalets and villas with majestic views of the Matterhorn and Mount Blanc, that wasn't what Chanyeol wanted to see.

His heart ached. 

One week. Seven frustrating, meaningless days.

Chanyeol looked around at the white snow spread over the mountaintop. His angel looked beautiful in white too... Chanyeol's thoughts began to wander and as the view of what he wanted to see came to the forefront of his mind he couldn't stop the moisture gathering in the corners of his eyes. At least he already had his goggles on. 

"Hey guys I'm gonna make this my last run for the day!" Chanyeol called out to the two men sitting to either side of him as they prepared to get off the ski-lift that was approaching the peak of the slope. 

"But Yeol this is only your third run! There's plenty of daylight left even with our late start today!" Kasper said, shaking his heavily gloved hand, gesturing to the snow around them as they got off the slow-moving carriage.

Hyuno nodded his head, agreeing with the choreographer, "Yeah it's your birthday, man! Live a little! Hey you already sat out our last run!" 

"I know, I just... Let's just... come on let's go..!" Chanyeol maneuvered into position and pushed off with his poles. He didn't want to talk about it. They wouldn't understand anyway. He shook his head as his downward projection and slick skis started picking up speed, hurtling him down the mountainside. In the past he would have chosen to snowboard, but this trip he felt the need for the added stability of poles so he had insisted on the skis instead. His two friends quickly caught up and then sped past him as they angled their snowboards back and forth through the bright snow. Chanyeol watched them as he also threw his weight back and forth, maneuvering through the drifts.

His mind began to wander again, and although they were specially treated, his goggles were showing the effects of his tears as moisture built up quickly behind the lenses. The wind picking up around him and the foggy view made Chanyeol lose focus and the next thing he knew he was tumbling into a small drift to his left. 

"The left...ugh. Why is it always the left?" Chanyeol grumbled as he sat up and assessed the damage. His skis and poles seemed to be fine. His dignity was a little bruised, but his body also seemed to be fine. "You're uncoordinated Chanyeollie! It's always your left that lags..!" Chanyeol automatically mimicked in a sing-song manner without realizing it. Hearing his own voice in the higher pitch made him stop his actions and his breath caught in his throat. 

Frozen for a second until a couple other skiers flew past, Chanyeol shook his head. "Don't think about him. He doesn't care and he doesn't want you to care. Don't think about him." Chanyeol muttered to himself and finished getting back up off the cold ground, shaking his legs a little and turning his skis back in the direction of the bottom of the mountain. 

It was petty and he knew it. Chanyeol couldn't bring himself to admit that things were happening that he felt were completely out of his control. In the past he would have slapped on a smile and been the Happy Virus that everybody loved, but this time he had refused. He had adamantly refused. If he wanted to wallow in self-pity, then damn it he was going to wallow to his heart's content. 

If they wanted to see the Happy Virus again, they would have to give a hell of a reason to bring him back. 

He just wasn't sure what that reason would be this time. 

Time seemed to pass so quickly as they all got older.

All of the members had finished serving their military duty, the reunion concerts had been successful, they had all started creating lives of their own away from EXO, and everyone was still on speaking terms without a lot of controversy shaking the group. It was the best they could hope for, under the circumstances. 

The public had even been somewhat understanding when some of the members revealed long-term relationships that had been in effect long before EXO even began taking turns fulfilling their obligations to military service. The biggest, but still most obvious relationship reveal of course, had made thousands of EXOL ecstatic to say they had been right in their SNS posts using the tag #chanbaekisreal. 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun had confirmed their long-term relationship just after getting out of the military only weeks apart. The day Chanyeol had been released Baekhyun was waiting with Minseok and Junmyeon as they watched him give his last salute in uniform. The watching fans gasped as, immediately after Chanyeol dropped his arm and been dismissed, he had taken off at a run straight into Baekhyun's waiting outstretched arms. Minseok beamed and Junmyeon patted him on the back as Chanyeol hugged Baekhyun tightly with one hand around his back and one on his head that was buried in Chanyeol's broad chest. Only after Baekhyun pulled back and Chanyeol wiped a tear off his cheek did everyone realize both men were crying tears of joy. A collective murmur of understanding along with applause, excited squeals, and screams came from the fans around them, as well as the thousands watching through the hundreds of phones recording the sweet exchange. The squeals and screams continued as Chanyeol had hugged his fearless leader and loyal band-mate. But his arm quickly returned to Baekhyun's waist, never leaving even as he waved to the fans and walked up to the microphones placed at a small podium. Chanyeol had made a quick speech thanking all the support from everyone that had waited for him, looking at the fans but continuously glancing at Baekhyun who was standing to the side looking on proudly with Junmyeon and Minseok. The final confirmation came when the four reunited members climbed into the waiting van shortly after. The pictures of Chanyeol holding Baekhyun sweetly on either side of his face and their faces pressed together was blurry as the van was already moving away from the venue, but the proof was there. Chanbaek released a joint statement 24 hours later requesting privacy and respect, which, despite the fear of backlash, most of the fandom was happy to give. SM released their own statement showing a neutral yet supportive stance, and EXO got back to business as usual. 

Business as usual was what had brought the members to realize that things would never be the same now that their singing careers were starting to slow down. It had been a few years since the first reunion concert, and these days the requests for all the members to appear together were still plentiful but difficult to deal with. Many were from individuals that wanted to make a name for themselves as scandal reporters or from companies and agencies looking to exploit the group and their achievements. There were a few legitimately good offers from time to time and all the members tried hard to be available to make appearances together in these situations, always showing support for each other and appreciation for the EXOL that continued to love them. All of them were still in high demand as actors, models, and spokespersons for a wide variety of products and issues, so getting them together for a concert tour was no small task. Their last concert tour had been scaled back to one night at each location, with limited cities chosen. But they still worked together to discuss and consider every request for appearances no matter what it was. 

The most recent request to EXO for a TV show appearance had put Chanyeol into the foul mood he was now dealing with. 

The producers explained they wanted as many of the members as possible to appear. The premise was the EXO members would be judges, and would critique as other up-and-coming artists would attempt to sing EXO hits of their choice. The producers felt this was a simple yet effective way to pay homage to the experienced award-winning entertainers while bringing the new hopefuls into the public eye. That wasn't a horrible idea.

The horrible idea, in Chanyeol's opinion, had been the choice of songs. Actually, one song in particular. 

Chanyeol had written the lyrics and melody to this song with only one person in mind. And when EXO performed the song it was always done with full accompaniment. Guitars, drums, keyboards, backing vocals, and the works... Before agreeing to release the song to the company Chanyeol had made one rule about the song. The only time it was ever to be performed acoustically was with one guitar, with him playing. This was his only stipulation.

Chanyeol also had an unspoken rule that the other members knew about this song. If the song was being performed acoustically, then there was only one person allowed to be listening, and possibly singing along with his own rumbling vocals. All the members knew this, and yet in the meeting they were seriously considering allowing the song to be used and being performed with two guitars and an unknown artist on stage.

It wasn't right and they knew it. 

Chanyeol had written _Heaven_ for Baekhyun. And Baekhyun was the only person allowed to experience the music and lyrics in the form that it was originally given to him: raw, unpolished, pure, and true. 

The snow swirled merrily as the wind picked up around Chanyeol. He had been caught up in his thoughts and didn't realize that he was slowing down, not crouching as much as he lazily zigged and zagged his way down the mountain. 

His mind continued to wander to the last time he had spoken to his fellow members. The blow-up hadn't been pretty. Chanyeol had stormed out of the meeting room of the production office, pausing only as Baekhyun had run after him and caught his arm. They had exchanged words, Baekhyun apologetic and attempting to smooth things over. But Baekhyun hadn't given a clear explanation as to why he was fine with the song, HIS song, being used this way. Chanyeol had let this fact add to his frustration and his temper boiled over. A few extra choice words were given, and then Chanyeol had left in a huff, leaving a teary Baekhyun and visibly shaken members behind. 

Chanyeol was generally known as a gentle giant, so when he let his temper get the better of him no one wanted to get in his way. They knew it was best to let him cool off and wait a bit before approaching him again. 

But here it was, seven days later. 

"Seven!" Chanyeol yelled suddenly, startling a nice older couple that was also taking the mountain a little slower today. Chanyeol half bowed apologetically as he coasted past them. He shook his shoulders a little and vowed to concentrate on the last third of the mountain that still laid ahead of him leading down towards the populated areas around the ski chalets. He may be frustrated but he wasn't going to let that get him or any of the skiers around him hurt.

Now if he could just get over his pride being hurt. At this point he didn't know if it was the song choice or the apparent lack of sympathy from his members that was frustrating him more. He knew it was childish, but what hurt the most was that Baekhyun hadn't shown much reaction when Chanyeol sent a text an hour after the blow-up.

Chanyeol had sent Baekhyun the information about his decision to go ahead with the planned trip with his friends. He had just moved the plans up by 2 days which meant he was leaving immediately, that's all. 

And on the plane he put his phone into the luggage in the overhead carrier, opting to use his tablet to play games instead. 

And he hadn't bothered with his phone after it died 12 hours later during a layover in Istanbul.

And he deliberately didn't charge it until 2 days after that.

And he left it on mute.

Ok so maybe he was being beyond childish. But all the members knew where he was going, and Baekhyun even had the hotel information. But he hadn't heard from Baekhyun, or any of the others. It seems like no one cared. 

"Aggghhhh!" Chanyeol roared as he deliberately crouched down, picking up speed again for the last few hundred yards of the snowy mountain side before coming into the final sloped area around the base of the mountain. He spotted Kasper and Hyuno waving frantically and he angled his skis to glide smoothly up to his friends. 

"That took longer than I expected, sorry guys!" Chanyeol smiled at his friends, trying to pull off a carefree attitude. 

"No worries! So are you ready for some warmth and a hot beverage or two... or three?" Kasper said, laughing to match Chanyeol's smile. 

"I thought you were wanting to keep me out longer today? What happened to the whole 'plenty of daylight' speech?" Chanyeol said, looking at his friend suspiciously. 

"Hey, a man can change his mind can't he? I'm actually cold and could use a drink anyway... so come on -- let's go inside." 

Chanyeol shook his head chuckling, but agreed as he slid towards the benches and sat to take his skis off. "So are we talking warm cocoa or are you thinking something stronger?"

"Oh you'll definitely want something stronger." Hyuno said, grinning as he followed Kasper sprinting towards the doors of the chalet behind them. 

"Wait! That's not the same door of the chalet we're supposed to be going into! Hey guys! Wait!" Chanyeol jogged after his laughing friends and burst thru the doors of the chalet. "Guys, why did you--" Chanyeol stopped abruptly and stared at the familiar face of a man that was standing in front of a small table in the foyer. 

"Hello Love... Happy Birthday!" said Baekhyun.

* * * * * * * * *


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello Love... Happy Birthday!" said Baekhyun. He smiled nervously, playing with the strings of his coat. "I wanted to tell you in person. I hope that's ok."

Chanyeol stared for a second but then shook his head, snapping himself out of his temporary stupor and grabbed Baekhyun, hugging him. "Yes! Oh my god yes it's ok! Thank you! I'm - yes! Thank you!" Baekhyun giggled a little into Chanyeol's coat where his face was smushed. "I'm just... amazed you came here to see me..." Chanyeol's voice drifted off slightly as Baekhyun pulled back abruptly from his arms. 

"Of course I came to see you!" Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol incredulously. "You weren't answering my calls and texts, and your buddies tell me you **still** have your head up your ass! Why **wouldn't** I want to come and try to knock some **sense** into your stubborn head, you big **oaf**!" Baekhyun shook Chanyeol's hands off from around his waist and shoulders. "I have half a mind to **leave** now that I've seen you're still alive, since you **can't** bring yourself to let me know this all this last week! Do you **know** it's been seven days since I last saw you? **Seven**! Do you even understand how much that bothers me? **Seven** dammit!" By this point Chanyeol had shrunk back a little, flinching as Baekhyun punctuated his words with smacks to Chanyeol's chest.

"I didn't think it..." Chanyeol tentatively said.

"No you didn't think!" Baekhyun interrupted, putting his hand up to his own forehead and closing his eyes briefly, sighing. "Baby... nevermind that. Just- look at me." Baekhyun took Chanyeol's face in both his hands. "I'm sorry. I really am. I heard everything you said before you left and I've thought about it and also talked to the others." 

Chanyeol bristled. "I'm still mad at them. They know how important that song is to us but they didn't seem to be bothered about it when we were in the meeting." he grumbled. "They all had the nerve to look really happy about using your song. YOUR song, Baek!"

Baekhyun blushed lightly, smiling and patting Chanyeol's arm patronizingly. "I know, and there's actually a reason for that, but before you try to say anything I think you should know that they were doing it for me. I asked them to say it was OK."

Chanyeol startled, looking straight at Baekhyun. " **What**?!"

"I have to tell you something, please listen to me. Please. Don't get mad again, just let me explain." Baekhyun quickly moved his hands down to Chanyeol's shoulders, grabbing the material of his fluffy coat. "First can we sit down somewhere? I'm tired and didn't sleep much on the flight and the bus ride over from the airport was horrible and no I didn't get a taxi but you don't need to know about that right now so just- yeah. Can we sit?" 

Chanyeol noticed how stressed Baekhyun looked and immediately ushered the two of them into a side room, closing the door behind them. He pulled a chair out from a small desk in the room and helped Baekhyun sit, then took off his own fluffy coat and put it on the floor to kneel on in front of Baekhyun's feet.

Chanyeol placed his hands in his lap and looked straight up at the love of his life, "Ok I'm listening. I promise." 

Baekhyun took a deep breath, and looked at Chanyeol with a small smile. "So I have to confess something." He paused, waiting for Chanyeol to react but when the man kneeling on the floor didn't say anything, he continued. "As soon as I heard about the initial offer I contacted the producers." 

Chanyeol cocked his head a little to the side to show his interest but still didn't say anything. 

"I asked them for a favor and they said yes."

"So what does this have to do with our song" Chanyeol finally asked.

"I'm getting to that."

Chanyeol just nodded.

"So I knew they wanted to tape the show the day before New Year's Eve, and since that's also been a special day for us I wanted to do something more." 

Chanyeol reached up and took Baekhyun's slender fingers in his own large hands. "That's the day I asked you to be mine ten years ago." he said, looking up at Baekhyun, who nodded at him, smiling thru what looked suspiciously like tears. "So what was the favor you asked for from the producers?"

"I wanted to have them play our song." Baekhyun said. "But I wanted to make it extra special."

"Oh Baby..." Chanyeol was caught off guard and leaned his head down toward their joined hands.

"I asked for the arrangement with two guitars so it would sound more like the way you played it for me. I thought maybe you wouldn't get as angry as long as there were more than just one guitar." Chanyeol turned his head to the side but kept it on Baekhyun's lap, listening to Baekhyun's explanation.

Baekhyun couldn't control his tears as one slid down his face silently. "And instead of someone else singing, I was going to step on stage and sing it for you." He pulled his right hand away from Chanyeol's grasp to brush his fingers through the familiar soft locks on Chanyeol's head, and then reached into the pocket of his coat.

"And after I sang it... I was going to give you this..." he said, sniffling a little as Chanyeol raised his head. 

Chanyeol gasped. 

Between Baekhyun's slender fingers was a sturdy band of titanium with abalone chips and wood accents all around through the center of it. A masculine-looking ring with soft edges and a perfect compliment to Chanyeol's personality. 

"Chanyeol..." Baekhyun sniffed a little as Chanyeol reached up and wiped a stray tear from his cheek. 

"My Love." said Chanyeol, smiling softly.

"You asked me to be yours ten years ago." Baekhyun said. "Will you be mine too?"

Chanyeol leaned on the hand Baekhyun wasn't holding and started to get up off the floor, not realizing his tired legs had gone to sleep from the circulation being cut off for the time he was sitting on them. "Ack!" He tumbled as his arm gave out a bit, not handling the dead-weight of his legs. 

"Dammit!" Chanyeol said and looked surprised up at Baekhyun who had burst out laughing. 

"You know it's always your left that lags, Chanyeollie!" Baekhyun said, smiling brightly thru his tears at Chanyeol who now had a matching smile on his face and was laughing as well. 

The door behind them opened and Kasper poked his head in cautiously. "Uh, you guys Ok in here?"

Chanyeol looked up from his half-sprawled position on the floor. "We're great buddy, don't worry!"

Baekhyun nodded. "Yep. You OK out there?"

Kasper looked sheepish. "We kinda thought there would be yelling and _**stuff**_ going on, so it was strange to hear laughing." 

Baekhyun's eyebrow went up. "Stuff...?"

"Well, you know... When you-guys fight you tend to make up in very, um, _**vocal**_ ways, and it usually happens behind the nearest closed door, so.. . Yeah. Stuff." Kasper said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Chanyeol grinned, turning to Baekhyun and getting back up on his feet while bending slightly over the giggling man. "What do you think, Babe? It's been a whole week without...stuff. I think we- OW!" Baekhyun whacked Chanyeol on the arm and stood up. 

"Even if it is your birthday we're not doing anything until I get to a proper bed. You owe me that much after running away for a whole week!" Baekhyun said, trying to hide his grin. 

Kasper shook his head. "These damn idiots..." he said, chuckling as he left the room. 

"So... a proper bed, huh?" Chanyeol said, pulling Baekhyun into a hug. 

"I think you owe me a proper answer first, mister."

Chanyeol tightened his arms around Baekhyun's shoulders. "A proper answer... Let me see..." Chanyeol said as he leaned the two of them back and forth from side to side. 

"Chanyeollie don't be mean..." Baekhyun pouted, his lower lip stuck out cutely. 

"I'm not mean, Love." said Chanyeol, chucking. "So... you said you want me to be yours..."

Baekhyun's pout softened a little as he looked up at Chanyeol. "Yes, please.. ." he said with a soft voice. 

Chanyeol stopped their movements. "I have always been yours my Love."

"Yes, but Chanyeollie~ !" Baekhyun said, shaking his legs a little. "I wanna marry you!" 

Chanyeol smiled and moved his hand to brush Baekhyun's bangs out of his eyes. "And I wanna marry you too. But for real this time. I know we had our own little ceremony where we committed ourselves to each other when we went to Hawaii together the first time, but this time I want to say all the important official words and make it legal while we're in front of all our family and friends."

Baekhyun's eyes glazed over with tears again. "Oh Yeollie..." he breathed out. 

Chanyeol held up Baekhyun's hand that was still holding tightly to the ring. "And I want to wear this ring and also get you a matching one that everyone will know is from me. I know this one is unique just like you so I want yours to be unique like me..." 

Baekhyun swatted Chanyeol's shoulder again. "Dammit I was trying to be stronger but you just have to go and say things like that and make it impossible for me to stop crying." 

Chanyeol leaned down and put his forehead against Baekhyun's forehead. "I'm sorry." he said. "And I'm sorry too for being such a stubborn ass this whole week. I should have let you explain more before totally going off at that meeting. I ruined your surprise, and I'm sure the producers are mad at me as well for getting so worked up about it." Chanyeol sighed. "I'm an idiot."

"You were frustrated. Yes, you are an idiot, but you're MY idiot, and I should have known we couldn't pull something like this off without you either figuring it out or getting mad about it one-way or the other." Baekhyun sighed. "Technically that makes me an idiot too."

"You're both idiots." Kasper said, poking his head back into the room. "We can hear everything out here, so come on out here before you start making up the way you _ **like**_ to, and get a room already."

Baekhyun blushed and tried to hide his embarrassment. He bent down and picked up Chanyeol's coat while Chanyeol grabbed Kasper and acted like he was going to knock him in the head.

"Thanks for ruining a moment BUDDY!" Chanyeol said, acting aggressively but grinning none-the-less. Chanyeol let Kasper loose and then grabbed Baekhyun's hand "Come on Baekhyunnie, I want to celebrate my birthday with my fiancé!" 

"Wait dude!" Kasper said as they walked out of the room laughing. "We have a cake and dinner ordered and everything!"

"Awww... you two care about me after all!" Chanyeol said sarcastically. He looked at Baekhyun with his eyes twinkling. "I still want to celebrate tho, so have it all sent up to our room and we'll make sure you get some leftovers..." 

"Ew no... I don't want leftovers if you have it in your room first! I know there are no limits to how kinky you two can get and NOBODY needs any of those leftovers thank you very much! " Hyuno said, laughing but trying to look offended.

Chanyeol guffawed and slapped Kasper's arm as Baekhyun spluttered a bit, looking even more embarrassed. "Well I guess our secrets aren't as secret as we thought, huh Baek?" Chanyeol said, grinning wildly at his now red-faced fiancé. 

"Oh hush Giant!" Baekhyun grabbed Chanyeol's hand and started pulling him away from Chanyeol's two laughing friends. "That cake better be really good for me to come this far around the world...!" he muttered as he began walking towards the staircase that lead up to the rooms. 

"Aww Babe don't be mad..." Chanyeol giggled, letting Baekhyun continue to drag him up the stairs. 

Kasper nudged Hyuno who was chuckling as he watched the two disappearing to the next floor. 

"We should've known...when it comes to Chanyeol's frustration, Baekhyun may be the cause of it, but he's also the only one that can help him get rid of it!"

Later that evening, a solo guitar and two softly harmonizing voices could be heard echoing in the corridors of the hotel...

Hello angel, you’re like a picture  
When I look at the sky, I see only you  
City street lights, though the lights go off  
And moon disappears, it’s still dazzling.  
It’s because of you,  
You who’s a star that the sky let fall.

_You who’s a star that the sky let fall....._

* * * * * * * * *


End file.
